For the past seven weeks, I’ve been working at home and avoiding all phycial contact with my loved ones. I feel I have handled the self-isolation thing pretty well, maybe going a little insane every now and then, but overall I would give myself a “B”. However, THIS week seems to be a game changer. Everything I’ve been through, heart surgeries, comas, a miscarriage, I’ve ALWAYS had my family beside me to at times, literally lean on. I still have them, thank God, but it’s in a completely different way. This pandemic is a time where you want to be with the ones you love the most, but know you can’t for your well-being and theirs. I believe you have to let the frustration and fear and impatience out. So, on Wednesday, or was it Tuesday? Who knows at this point, I let it out. I was getting groceries, through online pick-up and cried the entire way there while listening to Maren Morris’, “To Hell And Back”. To me, it’s a song about unconditional love, whether it’s with a significant other, a parent, a child or a friend. I still feel that from my lovd ones every day, but I miss their healing embrace so much. I wiped away the tears and smiled as I greeted the grocery employee and watched them load my groceries into the SUV. After they left and I shut the door to the SUV, the tears started to well-up again. So, I again turned to music and listened to Luke Combs sing, “6 Feet Apart.” This is a song of sadness and yet has that glimmer of hope that we all need right now. I gave myself a half hour, total, of crying and then it was back to the goal. The goal of making it through this pandemic, safely, while still enjoying what we still have. We still have family, although further away than we’d like. We still have hope, which is something we all need. And we still have love. I see it everyday through the FaceTimes with friends and family and the laughs I still hear from neighbors as I take the kids for a bike ride around the block. I am so grateful to be able to spend these weeks at home and still be employed and be able to avoid the hospitals and clinics as those I love are still healthy, thank God. I pray for the front-line workers and their families and for those who aren’t working now and wondering how they are going to make ends meet. I pray for us all. I know it’s hard, but we are strong and we will remain strong even from far away. I give myself a “D-Minus”on Tuesday or Wednesday, whichever day it was. But THAT “D-Minus” helped me get back to a “B” today. Give yourself permission to let it go. I’ve been watching way too much “Frozen” during quarantine. Love, Josie.
